The Mule, The Taskmaster, and The Observer

I used to wonder why I procrastinated on certain things.

It could be tasks at work, life stuff I gotta do - anything, really.  But the common theme? I am procrastinating.

When I looked online and into the world of self-help, what did I find?

Just push through it

Make a to-do list of the things you need to get done. Prioritize them from most to least important. And just do it.

Start your day with the most important task first. Do it quickly, before the fire of motivation from your belly runs out.

Just do it.

Make yourself do things

All of these sentences have a common pattern. They involve treating myself as an unreliable doer.

It’s as if I am my own taskmaster.

My job?

To force myself to do the things that need to be done—the things that matter, the things that are important to me, the things that will lead me to my goals.

The mule and the taskmaster

Imagine a mule, with someone sitting on its back, whipping it to go further.

Are you the mule, or the one sitting on its back?

Trick question! You’re both.

And your true self? The one observing this scene.

I abandoned the taskmaster

One day in early 2023, tired of being both the doer and the taskmaster, I abandoned this entire approach.

I decided to stop forcing myself to do anything.

A few days went by, and my days felt empty. But at the same time, it was as if my entire being let out a huge sigh of relief.

A few weeks later, I slowly started doing the things I wanted to do - the things that mattered, the things that would lead me to my goals.

I started exercising, even though I was not tracking how often I am hitting the gym that week.

I started journaling, even though I had no morning reminder telling me it’s time to journal.

I started working on the things that are most important, in that order, even though I did not create a prioritised todo list.

I let myself be

Some days, I didn’t feel like exercising. And on those days, I let myself be.

Some days I didn’t want to journal, or do some other thing that is obviously good or healthy for me. I let myself be.

Some days I didn’t feel like doing a specific task in my todo list. I just let that task be.

Turns out, my body and mind know when I truly don’t want to do something.

Maybe I was just tired that day - physically or mentally. Or maybe the tasks at hand weren’t actually important, weren’t aligned with my real goals, or weren’t even necessary.

And I found another approach to tackle it.

I started listening to my inner voice

My inner voice was begging to be heard, and I finally started listening.

I started trusting my inner voice. If it was telling me something, it was probably onto something.

Even when my rational, logic-driven mind couldn’t yet figure out why my inner voice was saying something.

I found that my inner voice is far more capable, intelligent, and aware than I ever gave it credit for.

I stopped treating my inner voice like an unruly child who needs to be disciplined and made to behave.

I started treating my inner voice like an adult, who knows what is truly best for themselves.

And my inner voice rewarded me by releasing the tension from my entire being - mind, body, and soul.

Once I discovered this way of being, I couldn’t unsee it. There was no going back.

I was finally in harmony.